Demons
by Jennifer Norler
Summary: Taking place a little after Lilly was shot in "Stalker". Scotty's concern turns to anger after Lilly disregards her safety. Will she lose him for good? I'm crap at summaries. Please Read! L/S. Ok, not sure if anyone is even still interested at this point but chapter 4 is here - though 4 years too late I know. haha
1. Enough

Disclaimer: As if I own them. Psh.

Rating: K+

Pairing: Lilly/Scotty

Summary: Taking place a little after Lilly was shot in "Stalker". Scotty's concern turns to anger and …more. I'm crap at summaries. Read! L/S.

XX

Scotty rounded the corner to Lilly's house hurriedly. He'd thought briefly about bringing flowers but decided against it anticipating Lilly's reaction. He knew her all too well and he knew she wouldn't like the subtle implication that she had been weakened in any way. Still, he wanted to check up on her. Of course, he couldn't let Lilly know that. Scotty reached the door and tapped a couple of times. No answer. He tried again with nothing happening. Although he knew Lilly was armed and was possibly one of the toughest female cops he'd ever met, a tiny shot of fear wrenched his stomach. Scotty knocked one more time before trying the handle. To his surprise, it was unlocked.

"Lil?" He said stepping in as he took a glance around.

Just then, Lilly appeared from her bedroom. "Jesus… Scotty."

"Sorry, your door was unlocked…"

"Oh yeah…paper…" Lilly explained before making her way to the coffee table. "What's up?"

She asked as she shuffled some papers around. It wasn't until then that Scotty noticed she was fully dressed and in a suit.

"Wait, where are you goin, Lil?"

"Work." She answered plainly as she snatched her keys out from under a magazine and started for the door.

Scotty shook his head briefly. "Ah no you don't. You need rest." He touched her shoulder gently checking her before she got any further and tried to direct her to the couch.

"No… I don't, Scotty. I need to be at work." Lilly stopped stubbornly in her tracks.

"Come on… Lil… you've been shot…." Scotty hesitated before saying more not wanting to rehash hard memories for his partner. "An' your mom died…" He paused. "You need time."

Lilly looked down, annoyed with what she half-perceived as orders and let out a quick breath. "Scotty, I know you mean well but you don't know how I work. I can't just sit around. I need to be busy. I need to be doing things… I need…"

"Actually," Scotty cut her off. "I know exactly how you work. And I know that you push yourself too hard when you're not ready." Scotty matched her forceful voice at first then softened his tone. "Lil, you don't have to be strong all the time…" He looked down at her with his intense brown eyes, desperately trying to make her see. Images of her mother floated through Lilly's head. She'd had her problems with her mom and she knew it wasn't her fault that she was dead, but it truly felt like a piece of herself had gone with her when she passed. The last thing Lilly wanted to do was wallow in that feeling. "Scotty, I appreciate your concern, I do…but right now I just need you to get out of my way."

Scotty clenched his jaw. What was it about this woman that affected him so much? She was the most stubborn, irritating, head-strong woman he'd ever met but at the same time he knew she had a heart the size of Texas. Working by her side everyday, he had seen Lilly in every possible situation and she never failed to prove herself to be the strong independent lone female homicide cop in Philly. But there was something about her. A distance that she placed on her personal life; something she would go to great pains to protect. Despite the number of bad guys she had caught or the infinite number of rough patches Scotty knew she had gone through, he could see that lying deep below the surface was a fragile woman who was so afraid of losing control. It was only a matter of time before something was going to give. And quite frankly, it scared the hell out of him.

Scotty shook his head slightly, not letting her eyes go. They stood motionless for a moment. "Why is it so hard for you, Lil?"

Another moment passed.

"…please Scotty…" Lilly pleaded.

Finally, defeated in his efforts, Scotty took a frustrated step back. "Have it your way." He flashed his eyes up and motioned to the door.

XX

"Rush, what are you doing here? You should be home resting." Stillman said, seeing Lilly walk through the door.

"That's the last place I need to be. I'm okay boss. I can work." Lilly assured him as she brushed by him toward the break room for coffee.

A moment later Scotty appeared, file in hand, and made his way to his desk.

"Scotty, why is Lilly here? I told you to keep her out of the office."

"Yeah,…right." Scotty returned, barely looking up. He swiveled his chair briskly to take a seat and plopped the folder down in front. "You ever try to tell Rush to do anything?" He gave the Lieutenant a dry look before turning a page.

"So what do we got?" Lilly re-appeared promptly, caffeine in hand, and took a seat across from Scotty.

"Lilly, I really think you oughta…"

"Boss. Let me work." Lilly looked at him severely.

Stillman caught the tone in her voice. "Just don't over do it, Lil." He shot a look at Scotty then headed back to his office.

Scotty shook his head again then recited the facts of the case file. "Male. 28 years of age. Found dead on a football field in 1971. Gunshot wound to the head."

"Any witnesses?" Lilly was eager.

"Nope. Closest they got was the neighbor…Could be gang related. Apparently, the area is known for it's high gun crime."

"We better get out there." Lilly swiped her keys from the desk and started for the door.

Stopping at the gate, she looked back. "You comin?"

Scotty sighed and rose from his seat.

XX

The car ride was silent most of the way until they reached the area of where the body was found.

"Looks rough." Lilly said peering out the driver's side window.

"Not exactly a place for a picnic…" Scotty mused. He glanced at Lilly's arm. He could tell she was holding it a little more tensely than normal. "…hey… you sure you…"

"I'm sure." Lilly answered quickly. Before Scotty could protest any further, she was jumping out of the car and heading for the apartment building to the right. Scotty let out another deep sigh, grabbing the case file and following behind.

XX

"Neighbor's name is Arnold Thornly. Apartment 3H." Scotty read aloud as they walked toward the building.

"He ever I.D. anyone?"

"Nah, according to this, he suddenly developed a case of amnesia in '72 – right before the trial."

"Well let's just see if he's remembered anything since then."

XX

Entering the rundown building, Lilly led the way stepping past an over-turned garbage can in the lobby. The wallpaper was distinctly 80's and the floor tiles definitely looked as if they could use a wash. Scotty followed close behind as they approached the apartment door.

"3H." Lilly double checked her notes and knocked on the door firmly.

They waited a moment before Scotty shifted the file to one hand and knocked on the door again. "Mr. Thornly? Police. We need to talk to you."

He paused, waiting for a response before trying one last time. "Mr. Thornly?"

"Great." Scotty muttered taking a look down the hall.

All of a sudden, 2 loud popping sounds shook their concentration. "Gunshot." Scotty spoke low to Lilly as he reached for his weapon. She did the same as they both made their way to the source of the noise. The shots repeated as Scotty and Lilly reached the second floor. Just then a man wearing a hooded sweatshirt and pants ran out of an apartment below.

"Hold it!" Scotty yelled from the stairs to no avail as the suspect took off out the fire escape. Lilly glanced quickly inside the apartment he had just exited to see a middle-aged man lying wounded on the floor. Kneeling down hastily, Scotty checked for vitals but turned up with nothing. "Call for backup." Lilly shouted to Scotty before running for the alley where the gunman was headed.

"Lil, no, wait…" Scotty called after her as he tried to get up fast enough to follow her.

XX

Lilly rounded the corner to the alley and held her gun cautiously realizing it was a dead-end. He was here somewhere. "You might as well come out…" Lilly called out nervously. She tiptoed forward just enough to see a nook just beyond the door to her left. "I know you're there, come out with your hands above your head." Suddenly, within a matter of seconds the gunman jumped down from a stacked wooden box on the right, knocking Lilly backward into a dumpster unexpectedly. "Lil!" Scotty had reached the alley a millisecond too late as he saw her fall and the gunman already fleeing the scene.

Scotty holstered his gun and ran over to check her out.

"I'm fine Scotty." Lilly snapped as she tried to get to her feet.

"You're not fine Lil!" Scotty raised his voice as he held her arms, not letting her stand. "You can't keep doin this, alright? You're gonna get yourself killed ..and I can't live with that!" Scotty's emotions got the better of him and his voice broke. Releasing his grasp on Lilly's shoulder he stood up and backed away pinching his forefinger and thumb into his eyes hard.

Lilly hadn't noticed but a tear had escaped her eyes as she sat still against the dumpster. She couldn't bring herself to look in Scotty's direction but his presence was very eminent. Suddenly, sirens sounded and police officers ran to her side. "Are you alright?"

"oh yeah…she's fine." Scotty answered sternly as he brushed past and made his way out of the alley.

XX

Three hours later Scotty sat at home in a white t-shirt and sweatpants as he nursed a beer on the couch. The television provided a distraction in the background but he couldn't keep focused on anything they were saying. Why did she have to be so damn stubborn all the time? Why was it so hard for her to ask for help? He had always stood by Lilly and deep down he knew that as hard as she would try to keep him away, he always would but tonight he realized there was something more to this tug of war between them. Something he didn't want to call attention to until now. His thoughts trailed off as he sighed, taking another swig of his beer. A few minutes passed before he heard 2 small knocks at the door. Following the sound, he got to his feet and swung the door open.

"hey" Lilly spoke almost in a whisper.

Scotty remained silent, staring forward.

"Can I come in?"

He stood expressionless at first before moving to the side, allowing her to enter.

"What are you doin' here? Figured you'd be out wandering around a dangerous neighbourhood…" Scotty closed the door and followed in behind her.

"Look, Scotty…" Lilly said turning back.

"What do you want, Lil?" His voice was sharp.

"I know you're mad. What I did today…was…"

"Stupid." Scotty finished for her.

"Ok it was stupid. But Scotty you don't know…" She began but changed her trained of thought. "I know how I appear…"

"Oh you do, do you?" Scotty returned promptly.

"Yeah, I do." Lilly kept her voice low. She knew he was angry. In fact, she'd never seen him the way he had been in the alley. They had fought before, that was no secret but this was different. There was something else this evening that shook her. Tonight she actually felt afraid. Afraid that she had pushed so hard this time that she would actually lose him for good. Finally, a childhood trauma had caught up with her and had almost driven away something that she didn't want to go. Something important. Something real.

Lilly dropped her eyes as a tear began to form. "All my life I've always had to be the strong one, ya know? My mom… " She began before letting out an exasperated laugh as another moment passed. Scotty stood quietly listening, watching her intently as she spoke. "I just… can't handle not… having you in my life right now, Scotty." Lilly looked helplessly at him. She was tired of holding all these balls in the air. It wasn't easy for her to do but she needed him to know that she was human and not perfect.

After a small pause, Scotty finally spoke. "I'm still here."

Frustration had turned into compassion as he forgave Lilly another time. It was a big step for her to even admit she was wrong and Scotty acknowledged that. However hard she pushed people away, he could see what she was dealing with and how hard it was for her. Cutting Lilly off was not the answer, she needed support, someone she could depend on. He understood that. He understood her.

Lilly gave a short nod trying to smile. "Come 'ere," Scotty murmured as he drew her into his arms. For the first time Lilly didn't pull back but welcomed the embrace. A new sense of calm washed over her as they hugged. A slight smile played on Scotty's lips as he felt the walls fall down all around her. After all these years, after all this anguish, she had let her defenses down. For the first time, Scotty saw Lilly… and she was letting him.

Minutes went by before they began to break. Scotty ran his hand down Lilly's arm as she took a baby step backward. Her eyes fluttered downward but she felt Scotty's finger touch her chin forcing her head up. "Don't do that." He whispered piercing his eyes into hers. Scotty's eyes moved to Lilly's lips then back up to her eyes again. He'd always thought of Lilly as attractive - how could he not - but something was happening in that moment that was sending chills up his spine. He definitely did not intend for this to happen but he couldn't say he hadn't thought about it either.

Scotty swallowed, terrified of Lilly's reaction. Finally, moving his head slightly, he slowly lowered his mouth to hers. Lilly's eyes closed as she felt his lips make contact and her entire body weakened. Scotty's hand moved to the side of Lilly's face as the kiss intensified. He couldn't believe this moment was finally happening. Of the countless fantasies he'd had about her, none could top the real thing.

And he wouldn't trade it for the world.

Breaking apart finally, their lips hovered centimeters from each other. Lilly kept her eyes closed for a brief moment just now letting reality sink in. Suddenly, a whole new fear struck her as she stepped back. Scotty looked at her blankly trying to ascertain her thoughts.

"I gotta go." She managed to get out as she briskly made her way to the exit.

"Lil" Scotty spoke in an apologetic tone but turned to find the door closing in his face. He didn't go after her. He couldn't. He mused that she must have thought of it as a mistake never mind that for him; it was a moment he would never forget.

TBC...


	2. Truth

Disclaimer: If only I _were_ the proud owner of these characters.

Rating: K+

Pairing: Lilly/Scotty

Summary: Well I suck at summaries so you'll basically have to read it to see if you like it. Only thing to note is that it is definitely an L/S story and I am definitely not a cop so all the police stuff is me trying to sound professional when I really have no idea what I'm talking about. :)

XX

Scotty walked into work the next day, not knowing what to expect. The kiss, Lilly's reaction; the whole situation unnerved him. In fact, he hadn't slept all night. As if their relationship weren't complicated enough, he had no idea how to handle whatever it was that had happened between them. He needed to talk to her, that he knew but he had to admit, he was a little nervous at the thought. This was Lilly. Of all the people in his life, she was his one constant. And he needed that. He needed her.

Scotty noticed Lilly's chair was pushed in and folders were neatly stacked on her desk. She apparently wasn't in yet. Taking a deep breath, Scotty took his suit jacket off and laced it on the back of his chair.

"Who ran over your dog?" Nick said bringing Scotty a cup of coffee and swinging his leg over a chair to sit down.

"It's…uh, nothin'" Scotty took the coffee and set it next to his keyboard.

"You talk to Lil?" Nick asked nonchalantly, having heard about the gunplay the day before.

Scotty opened his mouth to answer but was saved by Lilly opening the door to the office. Her hair was down, her clothes crisp and she had a look of determination on her face. All in all, nothing seemed all that different from any other day of the week. Still, Scotty wasn't sure quite how to read her. If there was anything Lilly was good at, it was hiding her true emotions.

"Hey," Lilly addressed everyone at the same time, shooting only a quick smile in Scotty's direction. Taking her coat off, she hung it on the back of her chair and settled herself into her desk. Lilly could feel Scotty's eyes on her but she played it off as best she could. If she was going to get through this day, it was the only way she knew how. "What are we workin' on?"

So this is how it's going to go, Scotty thought to himself. He let his eyes fall as he took a seat. It was probably for the best until they could talk in private but he sensed there was more than just professionalism at work here.

"You feelin' better?" Nick asked considerately.

She'd forgotten all about being shoved into the side of a dumpster yesterday and barely remembered that her arm was stinging a bit more today than it had the day before.

"Oh, yeah, I'm good, thanks."

"Hey Lil!" Jeffries had just entered the office. "Heard about what happened, you okay?"

"I'll live."

"By the way," Nick chimed in reaching back to get a piece of paper from his desk. "Gangbanger that jumped you? He's dead." Sipping his coffee, he threw a police report in front of Lilly.

"When?"

"Happened around midnight." He replied readily.

"Looks like he's started an all out war now." Scotty added.

"Wonder if Arnold Thornly has anything to do with it." Lilly questioned, re-focused on the case.

"Highly doubt it," Nick countered as he stood. "Hospital called this morning, Thornly's in ICU."

"Wait a second, that was Thornly who was shot yesterday?"

"Looks like it." Vera confirmed.

"We gotta get down there, talk to him when he wakes up." Lilly was eager.

"Don't bother. He died 15 minutes ago." Stillman piped in as he walked into the conversation. "You okay Lil?" He added quietly.

"Yeah, I'm fine, boss." She answered quickly, not wanting to catch Scotty's reaction to her words.

"Well that's one less scumbag on the street." Vera took another drink of coffee as the room went uncommonly quiet. "Don't look at me like that, you were all thinkin' it and you know it."

"Well I want three of you to scout the area for witnesses. Local precinct is down there already…" Stillman changed the subject. "And you two;" Referring to Scotty and Lilly. "Go through some old case files, find out more about these gangs." Lilly glanced briefly up at Scotty but down again before he noticed.

"Scouting for witnesses in a gang war…?" Vera said in a half-question. "Talk about a waste of a day. I'd rather stick pins in my eyes." He complained.

"You got somethin' better to do today, Nick?" Stillman looked at him dryly.

"…I'll do it." Lilly volunteered suddenly. Scotty checked her curiously but she purposely kept her eyes averted.

"Uh, I don't know, Lil..." Stillman hesitated.

"I'll be okay, boss."

He took a deep breath. "…Alright…but no hero stuff, I mean it. Be careful. Take Kat with you."

"Take me where?" Kat arrived on the scene.

"We're headin' out." Lilly grabbed a clipboard and a pen as she sprung from her desk heading for the door.

"Ok then." Kat said, slightly stunned as she glanced at Will who gave a short smile following behind.

Scotty watched as Lilly left the office. It hadn't been apparent to anyone else but he could always tell when Lilly was pretending. She was far from being okay with things and Scotty knew yesterday had a lot to do with it. Later, he thought to himself as she disappeared from his view.

"Vera, you work the files with Scotty." Stillman directed before heading to his office.

Nick looked over at Scotty smugly.

"You know you're helpin'." Scotty nodded pointedly at Vera after Stillman had gone.

"What do you mean? I _love_ lookin' through old files." Nick replied with a grin as he reclined in his chair, hands behind his head.

Scotty smirked, shaking his head. "Why me?"

XX

"Well that was useless." Kat sighed unbuckling her seatbelt as Lilly turned the engine off. Most of the day had been spent talking to people who wouldn't say anything, couldn't say anything or knew nothing about it.

"We'll try again tomorrow." Lilly resigned.

"Well I gotta get home, my neighbour is going to kill me." Kat changed the subject. "She only wanted to watch Veronica for an hour. I'm gonna pay for this." She said as she grabbed her coat from the back seat.

Lilly laughed lightly but her mind was wandering. "See ya tomorrow."+

"Aren't you goin' home?" Kat asked innocently as she rustled through her coat for her keys.

"Yeah, I am. Just gotta get something from upstairs." Lilly motioned.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just…tired I guess."

Kat looked at her for a moment, debating whether or not to be concerned. Any other night she may have dug a little deeper into Lilly's response but tonight she accepted her answer. "Ok, well, I guess I'll see ya tomorrow then." Kat smiled and got out, giving a small wave before heading to her own car a few spaces over.

Before long, Lilly was left alone in the parking lot. She glanced at her watch. 10pm on the dot. She hadn't meant to stay out this late but she had to say, she was somewhat relieved. Her feelings were complicated to say the least and she figured the more time that passed, the easier it would be to be around Scotty. However flawed that plan was, it was her one and only instinct. Finally, pulling the handle on her car door, Lilly got out and headed toward the building. Whatever was going to happen, it could at least wait until tomorrow.

XX

Lilly glanced around the office seeing most of the lights dim for the overnight hours as she made her way to her desk. Depositing a clipboard and snatching her overcoat off her chair she started back toward the exit. Just then, Scotty appeared from the file room flipping through some papers before his eyes landed on Lilly.

"Hey," He said coolly as he stopped by the desks.

Lilly's stomach did a turn. "Hey," She sighed. "You're here late." She challenged him wondering if he had been waiting for her all this time.

"Yeah, just got caught up…" He motioned with a file. That was only half-true.

"Where's Vera?"

"Nursin' a beer somewhere, I'm guessin'?" Scotty gave a short chuckle.

An awkward silence presented itself, as Scotty knew it would eventually. Lilly's eyes shifted.

"Lil," He finally said, keeping his eyes down.

"Look, Scotty, it's late. Let's not." Lilly anticipated what was coming and called a preemptive strike. The room went quiet as she turned to leave.

Scotty shook his head. "Damn you're good at that." He said as he made his way to his desk. He'd seen right through her.

"At what?" She turned back.

"Avoidin' things, pushin' people away. Classic Lilly Rush, huh?" Scotty snapped as he dropped the file he was carrying flat on the surface below. He gave a small shrug as he looked at her. "I'm tryin' here, Lil."

"Scotty, …" Lilly cocked her head to one side.

"How am I supposed to deal…" He didn't finish his sentence but it was enough for Lilly to take offence. "No one asked you to." She retorted quickly cutting him off while trying to hold back her emotions. She looked to the ceiling briefly, Scotty, meanwhile, never taking his eyes off her. She could tell he was waiting for more.

"I'm screwed up, okay?" Lilly offered, turning her palms face up, defeated in her efforts.

"That ain't good enough for me." Scotty shook his head again, taking a few steps forward.

"Well it's all I got, Scotty." Lilly turned away, hanging her coat on a nearby chair and squeezing her fingers into the backing, hard. "What do you want from me?" She said turning back.

"I want you to talk to me!" His voice became sharp.

"About what, Scotty? Huh?" She pleaded, pausing only for a moment. "About how I lie awake at night thinking about dead people? How I'm so hard to be with that I can't make any relationships stick? Or maybe about my alcoholic mother who almost got me killed when I was 10?… Is that what you want to hear?" Lilly's emotions were getting the better of her as fatigue and frustration were an outlet for years of unresolved anguish.

"Lil," Scotty breathed out through his nose.

"You don't know what it was like." She said as a tear escaped her eye.

"Then tell me." Scotty pushed.

"Why?" She looked at him unflinchingly. "Why do you want to know, Scotty? Huh? Why?" She raised her voice.

"'Cause I do." Scotty said, matching her tone. He clenched his jaw tightly. "'Cause I love you,… alright? I love you." His voice was forceful and his breathing had become more intense as his eyes pierced hers. They stood frozen in front of each other as his words hung heavily in the air.

TBC


	3. Fear

Disclaimer: Don't own a thing.

Rating: K+ (for now)

Pairing: Lilly/Scotty of course

A/N: Oook. Sorry I took a little longer with this one. I've had…stuff to deal with lol. Anyway, I pick up in the exact same scene that I left off in at the end of Chapter 2 so you might want to refresh your memory. In this one, I mention some streets in Philadelphia – they are real streets but I have never been to Philly so I'm not 100 sure of what the area is like. Just thought I'd let you know that in case you were wondering. And also, thanks to everyone who reviewed! It's nice to hear your feedback.

XX

The tension was palpable. Lilly sucked in a breath as her heart pounded furiously in her chest. She stood unable to move, absolutely stunned into silence by Scotty's admission. It wasn't something he had planned on revealing tonight but there was something about being around Lilly that sent every muscle, thought, feeling and otherwise into overdrive. She evoked so many emotions in him; it was hard to control.

Scotty stared at her for a long moment before dropping his head finally and lifting a hand to rub the back of his neck. He closed his eyes and sighed, realizing now there was no going back. A different time; a different place; a different anything would have been better than what had just happened. But he had said it; and it was the truth.

Bringing his head up, he found Lilly's eyes again. She hadn't moved a muscle. "Lil, …" He began but didn't know where to take the sentence.

"…Just…" He started over. "forget ...'bout…" Scotty stopped himself, not wanting to finish. He let out another tense sigh before turning back to reach for his jacket. Slowly, he made his way toward Lilly who was standing nearer the gate. She opened her mouth to speak as he approached but no words came out. Scotty noticed her flushed cheeks and uneasy disposition. "It's late." His voice was low. "You should get home." He gave her one final look before averting his eyes and sullenly headed for the exit.

Lilly waited until she heard the click of the door closing behind her before letting out the breath she was holding in. She hadn't noticed before but her mouth was completely dry and her stomach in knots. Scotty had been by her side for so long, she couldn't even begin to dissect the complexity of what they were. Lilly swallowed heavily as she stared forward. What a week this was turning out to be.

XX

The next day rolled around with a heavy weight on it's shoulders. Lilly hadn't slept at all as she replayed Scotty's words over in her head at least a thousand times. She couldn't stop thinking about him and how she had stood wordlessly dumbfounded opposite. He had asked her to forget but how could she possibly? The clock on her nightstand glared at her with vehemence as she lay on her side, staring at the numbers blinking by. The time had just crept by 6am when her phone chirped shrilly, startling her out of her trance. Pulling herself up, she reached for her cell and flipped it open swiftly.

"Rush."

"Lil, it's John." He said with a slightly weary tone in his voice. "There's a situation. Seems one of the witnesses you interviewed yesterday knew more than they were letting on. Police chief wants anyone who touched the file down here ASAP."

"Where?"

"17th and Erie Avenue in Tioga."

"On my way." She replied briskly, welcoming the distraction.

XX

"Boss," Lilly got out of her car hurriedly as she walked up to meet Stillman and a slew of cops standing through a sea of police cars. She surveyed the situation immediately and could see a figure inside a one-story house moving erratically from room to room. Officers had surrounded the front lawn and reporters were lingering in the background trying to get a story for headline news; Lilly could tell there was more to this than just a crazed gang member with a gun.

Stillman nodded toward the house as she approached. "He's holding a girl. Gunshots and screams were heard about an hour ago. We think the owner, Duane Lewis, is dead already."

"Duane Lewis?" She pressed.

"Arnold Thornly's brother in law." Stillman filled her in. "The girl…" He explained further, handing Lilly a file. "…Thornly's niece."

"This better be good." Vera said just now joining the scene. He noticed the parade of SWAT teams getting into position. "What's with the cavalry?" He jerked his head, questioningly. "Tell me I didn't just haul my ass out of bed to give a gangbangin' junkie an audience before he shoots himself?"

"He's got a hostage." Lilly remarked. "Alison Lewis." She recited her name from the sheet of paper she held. "Just a little girl." Lilly spoke inwardly; still trying to make sense of useless acts of violence.

"Nice guy." Nick spoke dryly. "This joker got a name?"

"Joey Redman; out on bail; rap sheet as long as your arm." John answered tellingly.

"What does he want?" Lilly tried to piece the situation together.

"Nothing from us."

"Are you telling me I just spent eight hours yesterday tryin' to find motive and he doesn't have one?"

"You mean _I _spent eight hours…" Scotty quipped approaching from behind. "Little early for this, ain't it?" He added wryly, joining the conversation. He glanced at Vera first then John, finally meeting Lilly's eyes only for a short instant. He'd spent the better part of the night trying not to think about her but as soon their eyes linked, it all came rushing back. Still, he was at work now. He couldn't let it affect the job. It was the only thing left in his life that he knew for sure - no surprises; he liked it that way.

"So he breaks in, shoots the dad, takes the girl hostage …then what? Waits for Thornly's crew to show up?" Vera worked through the events disdainfully.

"That's just it, according to Philly PD, he _is_ Thornly's crew." John replied.

"So wait a minute, if they're from the same side, then why is he holdin' her?" Scotty furrowed his eyebrow, confused with the logic.

A slight pause had the wheels turning in Lilly's head "….he needs her as leverage."

Looks were exchanged among the 4 detectives as the reality of the situation sank in. Just then, the Sergeant called for Stillman. Stillman obeyed immediately while Lilly took a step toward the house, looking for signs of movement.

"Anybody else wonderin' why we're down here?" Vera asked suspiciously.

"Gotta have someone to point the finger at." Scotty mused.

"She has no idea what she did wrong." Lilly reflected out loud all of a sudden as she stared forward.

Vera shot a look at Scotty but found him already looking in Lilly's direction. Scotty exhaled slowly, staring at her profile. Worry was written all over his face as he watched her expression intently.

"He's coming out." Stillman spoke as he rejoined his group. "Claims he was protecting the girl and that someone else killed Duane Lewis."

"Right." Nick wasn't convinced. "Took him long enough to 'do the right thing.'"

"He gets witness protection if he hands her over; we got nothing to lose here."

A moment passed as all eyes focussed on the front door. The girl came walking out first as the gunman held his weapon high in a defensive posture. Lilly began to move toward her immediately, prompting Scotty to touch her arm. "I'll be alright, Scotty." Lilly answered quickly, almost anticipating the action. He was reluctant to let her go but knew exactly why it was so important to her for this girl to be all right. Still, he couldn't help it; asking him not to worry about her was like asking him not to breathe.

"It's okay." Lilly stepped gingerly to reach for the girl, still wary of the gunman a few feet back. She related instantly to the girl's innocence, reminding her of herself so long ago. Her whole life was ahead of her and she had already been dragged into a world of dread and fear. The injustice ate her up. Alison's childhood had been taken away from her, just like hers had been 20 years prior and she couldn't bear the thought of any more of it being wasted.

"Take my hand." Lilly whispered gently, as the girl grabbed for her hastily. Finally, feeling Alison's hand grasp hers, Lilly started to pull back. It would have been impossible to predict that in the next second, her life would change dramatically. It all happened in slow-motion as Scotty watched a black SUV slowing along the curb. The window opened meticulously and a machine gun stuck its nose out of the darkened back seat. Scotty's eyes followed the line of sight from barrel of the gun to Lilly standing directly in front. A stab of terror struck him. Without thinking his only instinct was her life.

"Lil!" He called frantically after her but before she could react she felt Scotty's body dragging her to the ground and the sound of gunshots hollowing through her ears. Screaming and the echo of a tire squealing dulled into the background as she held onto Alison tightly. The blur of a black vehicle disappeared from her view as Lilly lay motionless for a long moment, still feeling Scotty's weight at her back. It took a minute for her senses to return to her before she saw his limp hand draped across her side.

"Scotty?" Her voice trembled as she wriggled free, letting Alison squirm out from under her. Turning back she saw Scotty's lifeless body on the pavement. A hard lump formed in her throat. "Scotty." She said in a firm statement, as if to force him to respond. Lilly could see the blood that had begun to soak through the lining of his coat and her entire body tensed. She sat unmoving at first, her hand hovering above him, not wanting to touch her partner for fear of hurting him more. Her breaths became short and fear burned in her eyes as she reached recklessly for her cell phone to call for help. The numbers on the pad looked so small all of the sudden as her fingers shook violently.

"Officer down! I need an ambulance to 17th and Erie now!" Lilly barked the order into her phone and snapped it shut hurriedly. Rolling Scotty to his back, she tried to find the wound. A trail of blood had trickled onto the pavement as she repeated his name, desperately checking for vitals. One gunshot had entered through his abdomen, another in his back. Lilly sucked back emotions as she began sequences of CPR, convincing herself that she detected a faint pulse - too terrified to accept the alternative. It wasn't until then that Stillman saw what had happened. "Get an ambulance over here now!" He shouted amidst the chaos outside. Vera heard the order and followed him quickly to Lilly's side. Their eyes widened when they saw the blood.

"They got him." Lilly said breathlessly, still leaning over Scotty. In the distance she could hear the sound of a siren but her mind had gone too numb to acknowledge it.

"Ambulance is on its way, Lil." John tried to be re-assuring but Lilly wasn't listening. She swallowed harshly, not taking her eyes off Scotty, panic filling her entire inside. This can't be it, she thought to herself. After everything they had been through, this couldn't be the end. Her hands were covered in blood, still shaking from adrenaline, as Stillman pulled her away seeing the paramedics finally approaching.

Lilly slumped back as they attached pieces of equipment to him. She could see the white of his shirt had been stained with blood as they pulled clothing away from the wounded area and hurriedly connected the defibrillator.

Lilly sat idle, beyond tears, watching his pale face through the commotion. Closing her eyes, she let her hands drop to her side.

TBC… (oh that's so mean isn't it? Don't worry next one will be up soon ;) )


	4. More

**Disclaimer:** *shakes head* Don't own 'em. Wish I did so I could have fixed their ending officially. lol.

**Rating:** K+

**Pairing:** Lilly/Scotty. I went down with the ship. They're still meant to be imho.

**A/N:** Omg. lol. *looks at calendar* So, hmmmm, I think I'm a TAD later than I promised with this. lmao. Can't apologize enough guys! I'm SO sorry I made you wait 4 years. I know you all hate me - those of you who even care to be reading this, that is. I don't blame any of you one bit but I thought I'd post what I had already started and just recently (lol) got around to finishing. I owed you that much at least! Having said that, I'm not completely happy with it but I never am so I hope it doesn't make you hate me more. I also have to thank the lovely lovely people who posted reviews/pmed me, even recently inquiring on whether I would be finishing. It was you all who helped me plough through and get this done! So thank you very much for your encouragement! One last thing, I went a bit long on this chapter. Ooops. I kept thinking "I'll end it now" but I really didn't like cutting it off between certain scenes so I just kept it all together. Alright, that's all I'm going to say. Those of you who are still interested, enjoy! Oh and since it's been SO long, you might need to check out the end of chapter 3 to remind yourself.  
P.S. Still pissed at the way CC ended. Seriously LS deserved more than that. But I digress.

XX=Scene Changes

_Italics_=Thoughts

XX

Lilly walked slowly into work, the room echoing a stillness that sent a bitter chill through her body. The lights seemed brighter than usual, stinging her eyes as she made her way to her desk. Glancing around the vacant office, she wondered where everyone was. _Too early?_ She thought to herself musingly, blinking down at her wrist to check the time, only to find it bare - she hated when she'd forgotten to wear her watch. Just then, she noticed a single case file lying atop her keyboard as she rounded her chair, but before she had a chance to read the name labeled in black ink at the top, the interrogation room door opened and out walked Scotty, flashing her his trademark smile.

"Hey," He said, approaching confidently. He paused briefly to drop some papers on a nearby table and Lilly stared at him for a long moment, her heart beating faster with every second. She watched his dark brown eyes intently and slowly traced the curve of his bottom lip before he smiled again and opened his mouth to speak. Suddenly, Stillman's voice averted her attention.

"Lil," Lilly turned toward the sound but found no one. Turning back, she noticed Scotty had disappeared from where he'd been standing and her eyes drifted to the case file still waiting on top of her keyboard. Her breath caught when she saw Scotty's name etched in ink.

"Lilly," She heard her name again and this time, felt a light touch of a hand on her shoulder. With a jolt, her eyes snapped open revealing the cool walls of a hospital corridor and Stillman's concerned eyes peering down at her.

"You okay?" He asked, carefully investigating her face.

"Yeah." Lilly cleared her throat, realizing she had either been dreaming or having a nightmare; she couldn't decide which. "… just fell asleep, I guess." She answered, bringing a hand to her face. Reality returned to her instantly. "Scotty?" She asked, requesting an update on his condition.

"No word yet." Stillman spoke quietly, hesitant to report anything to Lilly right now.

"Listen, Lil…" He took a seat beside her. "I think you should go home." He continued. "You need to get away from here for a bit. I'll have Kat drive you. We'll call you the minute we hear anything." Trying to assure her, he gave a nod and turned to fish his cell phone out of his overcoat.

"No." She said simply, focusing on the creamy white paint of the wall in front. "I'm not leaving."

"Lil," Stillman tried to persuade her with his tone but before he could speak again, Lilly cut in. "Boss," She shook her head at him tiredly. "He's in there because of me." Lilly turned her eyes forward again. "I can't leave til I know he's alright."

Stillman could do nothing but nod in acceptance, knowing – frustrating as it was – that there would be no changing Lilly's mind once it was made.

XX

Lilly stared blankly into a coffee cup Kat had brought her, but the black liquid staring back offered little more than a backdrop to her thoughts. Two hours had ticked painfully by, allowing Lilly too much time to replay the events of the shooting over in her head. She felt rage bubbling up inside her as she tried to recall details of the scene that put her partner in critical condition. She hadn't seen the shooter first or last but made a silent vow that whomever was responsible, was not going to get away with it. She needed more time. More than what she gave Scotty when she had the chance. Just then, the heavy hospital door opened and a surgeon emerged with an indecipherable expression on his face. Lilly stood instantly but every muscle in her body felt weak. All her life she'd forced herself to be strong in any given situation but somehow, this time, she wasn't sure she was prepared to handle whatever the doctor had to say.

"He's stable." He stated, gesturing with his hand as he approached. Lilly let out a short breath of relief and dropped her eyes back to the cup she was holding. Kat saw the anguish all over Lilly's face and snuck a hand around her arm in support. "He lost a lot of blood so he's not out of the woods yet, " The surgeon continued. "But his blood pressure is stable and as long as it stays that way for the next 24 hours, he should pull through."

"Can we see him?" Stillman spoke up, knowing Lilly likely couldn't find her voice to ask.

"Soon. He's being transferred to ICU. I'll have a nurse come to get you."

"Thanks Doc." Vera nodded at the doctor before he disappeared back through the big steel doors.

"That's good news, Lil." Jeffries said softly as all eyes were on her.

Lilly nodded but still felt numb.

XX

Half an hour later, a nurse had taken the team of detectives to a different waiting area in the ICU wing of the hospital. She indicated that she would let them know when they could see Scotty but Lilly felt her body tensing up at the mere idea of his weak form and the tubes that would be coming from him in every direction. In the distant background, she could hear the quiet hum of hospital equipment emerging from various rooms and memories quickly assaulted her mind as remnants of her own injury flickered before her eyes. She remembered feeling nothing; her limbs lifeless, her body drained of its purpose; only the blank white ceiling above leaving her empty and the fear that she might die before... Her thoughts trailed off and returned to Scotty lying in that same vulnerable state. The partner she'd almost lost; this man who had been through almost everything with her. Her eyes fluttered closed momentarily and she tried to swallow but her mouth had gone dry.

"Okay," A voice startled Lilly out of her trance. "He's still resting but you can go in to see him now." The nurse instructed Stillman on how to find Scotty's room and gave a sympathetic smile toward Lilly before departing, clearly making assumptions about their relationship. The rest of the detectives stood and began heading down the hall, as Lilly wearily got to her feet. But suddenly, she couldn't move. Stillman glanced back and noticed her lingering behind.

"Lil...?"

She looked up at him quietly; desperation, fear, paranoia and myriad other emotions reflecting on her features. They exchanged a weighted look as Stillman stood studying her pale face, but it didn't take much to figure out what was wrong. She couldn't see Scotty. She couldn't meet his eyes. Not today. Not without melting into a puddle on the floor in front of him. In front of everyone, for that matter. He was okay. It was all she needed – all she could handle – for the present.

"Tell him..." Lilly swallowed. "Just tell him to get better, okay Boss?"

Stillman said nothing, giving only a nod in understanding as Lilly quietly headed toward the stairwell. Stillman watched after her for a moment, helpless with how to reach the demons Lilly was battling.

XX

"Hey," Scotty whispered groggily as Jeffries, Vera and Kat quietly crept into the room.

"How you feelin' slugger?" Vera quipped, making his way to Scotty's bedside.

"Like I been shot." Scotty joked through his haze, trying to find his voice. Just then a pain shot through his stomach causing him to wince.

"We get you somethin'?" Kat asked instinctively.

"Nah." Scotty swallowed. "I'll be alright." He replied with tired eyes before suddenly noticing Lilly wasn't among the officers. Panic instantly set in. His memory of the shooting was vague enough to allow his mind to run wild with his worst fears. _What if he hadn't gotten to her in time? What if something had gone wrong after he was down? What if she'd gone and done something stupid again?_

"Lil?" His eyes suddenly widened and he tried to sit up.

"She's fine." Stillman answered, just now entering the room. "She just...uh... I told her to go home, Scotty." Stillman lied as best he could, even though he was sure Scotty was aware of it. "She was exhausted, but she wants you to get better real soon." Scotty relaxed his muscles, but worry still played heavily on his brow as Kat and Vera exchanged an inquisitive look regarding Lilly's sudden disappearance.

"I don't remember much, Boss." Scotty said apologetically.

"Don't worry about it, Scotty." Stillman interjected before Scotty could continue. "We'll find him later, you just get yourself better."

"The little girl?" Scotty inquired thoughtfully after Alison.

"She's fine too, thanks to you." Stillman nodded in acknowledgement of his bravery. "But don't you dare do that again, Valens." Stillman warned. He'd seen far too many cops die prematurely in his day.

"Yeah, you gave us quite a scare." Jeffries added. "Doc said you were pretty lucky."

"Not lucky enough I guess." Scotty mused at the two bullet wounds sending periodic waves of discomfort through his body.

"'Least you got a better view." Vera motioned toward the window. "When I broke my leg when I was 15, I couldn't see nothin but a 70 year old guy's buttcrack." Keeping the conversation light was Vera's speciality. "Oh and Nurse Becky, of course." He wiggled his eyebrows as Kat shook her head in disdain.

Scotty tried to smile as his colleagues chatted but his mind was still preoccupied with his partner. Was she okay? Why hadn't she come? What was she blaming herself for this time? - though he had ideas as to the answers of the latter two. Regardless, he had to see her. Now all he needed was to find a way to bribe a nurse to let him out of this place as fast as possible...

XX

Lilly made her way down the hospital stairwell, picking up pace with every step. This had been the longest 24 hours of her life – and that included her own gunshot wound. She could handle not knowing about herself but not knowing whether Scotty was going to live or die... She couldn't do that. She suddenly needed away from here. She needed to breathe. And most importantly, she needed to catch the bastards that made her feel like part of her was dying in an O.R. Finally, reaching the bottom floor, she flung the door open and welcomed the cool air that met her skin.

XX

"Room 204, just down the hall." The night clerk at the only vacant motel left in Pennsylvania handed Lilly a card key and motioned with his hand.

"Thank you." She replied genuinely, picking up her overnight bag and heading down the narrow hall. It'd been 10 days since she disappeared from the hospital, 9 days since she'd heard a message that Jeffries left on her voicemail stating that Scotty had been deemed out of danger by doctors and 6 days since Stillman had instructed her via email and text message to take some time off. But Lilly couldn't bring herself to face anyone or anything right now. All she wanted to do was catch the guy who endangered her partner's life. She needed to work. It was all she knew. Lilly had already returned to the scene of the crime, found a bullet casing, identified the tire tracks to an exact car and model and discovered a shady dealership out of state. It was the precise opposite of what Stillman had instructed of her but at this point, she didn't care.

Lilly swiped the cheap plastic card through the card key slot and made her way into the room. It was nothing special but she didn't need it to be. She was here to make sure someone was brought to justice, not eat strawberry dipped chocolates at $10 per berry.

Throwing her bag on the bed, she immediately headed to a drawer for a phone book. She had the name of a dealership but hadn't been back to the office to acquire an address and though she doubted it would be listed, at least she could find a general area in order to ruffle some feathers. Lilly scribbled a few names of streets down on a pad and anxiously went to her bag for her gun. If she was going to solve this thing, it would have to be now.

Cocking the chamber, she snapped a new cartridge into place and holstered it at her side. Just then, two raps on the door caught her off guard. She paused a moment. She was definitely not expecting company. Short of it being the desk clerk at the motel, she was at a loss for who could possibly know she was here. Quietly making her way to the door, her hand instinctively hovered over her weapon, and Lilly brought an eye to the peephole. Her lips parted slightly when her focus landed on Scotty standing on the opposite side. She dropped her head and stood frozen with her hand clasped on the handle.

"Open the door, Lil." Scotty anticipated Lilly's hesitation a mile away.

Finally, nervously and with a deep breath, Lilly cracked the door open and their eyes met for the first time in two weeks. For the first time since he'd saved her life. For the first time since he'd almost...

"Scotty." She didn't know what else to say.

"I come in?" His voice was hard to read, though, if she knew Scotty, he was only waiting to let the shoe drop.

Another moment passed before Lilly apprehensively walked the door open for Scotty to enter. She noticed him favouring his left side, and knew there was no way the hospital would have let him leave in his condition but all things considered he looked well and a tiny wave of relief washed over her.

Scotty cradled his arm as he walked into the small motel room, trying not to agitate the muscles in his back. He was sore and tired, he wasn't going to deny that, and he was quite sure he was going to get reamed out by his doctor when he went back home but right now, this was the only thing that mattered to him. He could have written a book on the ways that Lilly Rush handled these situations. Any time a painful memory resurfaced, Lilly was predictably unpredictable. He knew everything there was to know about her avoidance tactics and how recklessly she would act when presented with something she really didn't want to think about.

Scotty knew. So here he was. Again. Trying to break another one of her walls down.

"How'd you find me?" Her voice was unsteady.

"You ain't the only detective in the world." He replied snidely with his back to her.

"You alright?" Lilly needed to hear him say the words that he was fine. She didn't trust her eyes. She didn't trust anything these days.

"Good as new." Scotty replied wryly, turning around to face her.

"How long we gonna do this Lil?"

Lilly dropped her eyes once more and began fiddling with the pen she was holding. Here it was. The shoe. "You...you shouldn't have done it, Scotty."

"Right, so you'd be the one with holes in you right now?"

"Better me than you." She said helplessly. "You don't have to protect me, Scotty."

He saw the hurt that lingered in Lilly's eyes but he couldn't let her off the hook- not this time. His anger at the way she disregarded herself drove him mad. Scotty scoffed and let out an exasperated chuckle, dropping his head.

"You just don't get it, do ya?" Scotty locked eyes with her. "You're my life, Lil." Scotty shrugged, not letting her look away.

His words literally took her breath away. She'd been with a few guys over the years, a few she might even say she loved, but this was different. For the first time in her life, she felt like the man standing opposite her really knew who she was. He knew more about her than any other boyfriend, girlfriend, aunt, cousin, doctor, or dentist she'd ever had. He'd become her best friend. The one person she could always rely on – that was why the stuff with Christina hurt so much. She didn't want to share Scotty. But until now, she couldn't bring herself to let herself love him either. He meant too much to her. If she lost him -for any reason- she'd have to go back to being alone. And she didn't want to be alone anymore. Her eyes began to glass over as the wheels spun in her head.

Scotty watched her for a long moment. "But..." He began. "Lil, I can't do this anymore." He said, suddenly realizing that as much as he loved her, he shouldn't keep running after this woman. He'd done everything he could think of to get through to her but he felt like he was in a maze that consisted only of dead ends. He knew there was an extremely fragile woman behind that badge but glimpses of that woman were fleeting. What could he do? If anyone had any ideas, he was open to them.

Finally, Scotty broke the long silence that hung between them.

"I guess just... try not to get shot?" Scotty offered half-heartedly, shaking his head at the ridiculousness of the words he had to say to this woman. This _detective_ who _should_ know better!

Scotty tried to keep his composure but coming here was clearly a mistake. He'd been through this exact moment with her at least 10, no, 20 times before. It wasn't like he was getting through to her, right? But why was it so hard to leave? He knew he shouldn't run after her. But also knew that there was no way he wouldn't. Still, he was at his wits end. For tonight anyway.

Scotty gave one final look toward Lilly before brushing past her and reaching for the handle.

That was all the time it took for Lilly to find her voice.

"Scotty." She inhaled sharply. He stopped at the door, close to where Lilly was standing but didn't make eye contact. Not yet.

"Don't go." She swallowed. "Please?" Her words were barely audible but Scotty picked up on the emotions running through each syllable.

"Why shouldn't I?" Scotty shifted his eyes to the side, listening intently for her reply. The ball was in Lilly's court. Scotty had laid all his cards out on the table, it was her turn.

"'Cause I..." Lilly closed her eyes briefly. "I need you, Scotty." She breathed out.

It was all Scotty needed to hear right now. Lilly giving any sign was monumental. And for Scotty, it was pure music to his ears.

With one swift movement he suddenly turned and pulled Lilly into an embrace, landing his mouth flush with hers in desperation as he kissed her with everything he had. His back ached from the action but at this point, Scotty didn't care. He loved this woman too damn much - and had waited too damn _long_- to care about anything else. A breath hitched in Lilly's throat as he took her by surprise but she accepted the kiss willingly, matching his intensity as they stumbled back toward the wall together.. Almost losing Scotty was the one thing that had forced the walls she had built to crumble. He was her partner. Her best friend. Her rock. She had realized while she waited in the hospital that she needed him more than words could say. And she was done taking advantage of time. Lilly snuck her hand around Scotty's neck and slid her fingers into his hair, finally allowing herself to get lost in a moment.

XX

Ok. So, I haven't decided whether to continue this or not... it'll depend on the interest, I guess? But I do have ideas. :P Actually, on second thought, I don't think I can just end it there. lol. Anyway, thanks SO MUCH for reading even though I made you wait so long!


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